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The Ex Factor

By  Justin Carreiro     10:24 PM    Labels:,,,, 
We all have them.

They used to be someone special who has touched our hearts and who we considered spending our lives with or someone who we perceived to have a long relationship with even though we possibly expected an expiration date later on. It can be a high school/elementary school crush that developed into that relationship by the lockers and after class or they were that "soul mate" who got down on one knee to only break your heart a few months later; they are our ex-boyfriends and girlfriends

 People always say that a little heartbreak in your life helps to make you grow and develop into a stronger person. That dealing with the challenges of a relationship that was doomed to fail can really put things into perspective and make you a wiser person in the game of love. However, what happens when you are the dump-ee and not the dumper? Does the same apply even though, technically, you choose to end the relationship for whatever reasons?

I don't know what hurts more: the heart out or losing you?
I know what you are going to say, "that maybe you broke up with them because they cheated on you or did something that ruined your trust". These are very perfect reasons as to why you choose to break up with someone because they wronged you and left you heartbroken, but what about those strange occurrences where everything seemed perfect or developing and then your, now current, ex decided to bring the hammer down? Does that make you a bad person because you choose to end the relationship even though you realized that there might not have been a future with them or there was no intensity? Why have you become the bad guy for, metaphorically, ripping out their heart?

I have been a longstanding character in this quest for finding true and meaningful love but along the way, relationships do end and they're not always "the one". I have had at least two instances where a relationship has ended by my choosing because I didn't see a romantic future with that individual. I always am the bigger person and hope to establish a long-lasting friendship with them. However, what happens when your ex doesn't want to stay as an ex?

Each ex ended up trying to win me over and discuss their feelings of regret as to why the relationship should commence again. I continue to be the bigger person and try to keep the friendship going but is there ever a limit? On one occasion I was "set up" by my closest friends to try a reconciliation on their birthday to get back together with them. Nevertheless, I choose not to for many reasons and it quickly became a situation where I was the bad guy because they were upset; when did my feelings get taken out of the equation? The other instance is a recent one where things are slowly and surely trying to get to a friend level but the constant regret talk, flirty messages and joking are beginning to pile up.

I'm not the type of person who cuts people out of their lives. Nobody likes to feel abandoned  and ignored because things just didn't work out. I like to try and set them up with other people and encourage them on their quest for love but I know the feelings are still there. Its hurts to see other hurting because its never nice to know someone is heartbroken and lovelorn. However, whats more worse: hurting something in an instant so they could find THEIR true love or be in a relationship where it didn't really seem to develop in time?

Sometimes getting back together with an ex does work out. Many relationships I currently know have at least broken up once and gotten back together; just some innocent drama. It all depends on the person and the relationship they have because maybe they didn't give that person another chance and it could have developed into something more. Though, if it didn't work out and you know that there is no chance that it will work out again then maybe its time to leave. The last thing you want to do is go behind someones back and go looking elsewhere for the night; its not a nice feeling and karma does dish out.

About Justin Carreiro

Justin is a longtime TV buff and gamer. He loves chatting about shows, playing video and board games, and his not-so-secret love for reality tv. He is also a fan of horror movies, music and a bookworm at heart. He spends his time in Toronto working in PR and Social Media.

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